Eli...you suck balls...for now

its me once again. so this week i dont know what to say. ive been pretty stressed out about my eli situation i mean it feels like he doesnt want to talk to me anymore. and i dont know if thats the case but i have to win him back. he texted me yesterday telling me he still loved me... what am i supposed to say? i love you too come back to me. gosh i sound like a pathetic desperate loser with nothing better to do. im just gonna move on and find something better if there is any. all he ever does is practice for his billions of bands... its like his band buddies are controlling his mind and telling him he cant have a life outside band practice. im not at all saying he's changed im just saying maybe he's telling himself a lie about me to make it easier to get over me. oh nevermind i forgot he's not telling himself a lie he's writing music for his billions of bands. life without him sucks. he's pissed off at me and i hate it. its like im pushing him away so im just gonna stop talking to him for a while. if i lose him then oh well im the biggest dumbest bitch ever alive. ill just find someone else thats worth my damn fucking time!!!! i hate him one fucking second then i love him the next!!!! SHIT! my LIFE fucking sucks! okay so im done for now... :) im super duper happy now...cant you fucking tell.